jarvis i
high ceilings. arched windows. single panes that let the weekend in.
notes
deconstruction, aftermath, music thoughts, systems, and observations.
the default setting
spirit led often means ear led. here’s what that did to my taste 👅
adoptee remembrance day (2025)
the wound is relinquishment. the cover-up is adoption.
the first time i read john macarthur
a teenage me sent away for “free christian stuff.” one envelope taught me how blunt some theology can be
processed pain to make it holy
kept trying to make it mean something
thirty-three ninety-five
rain on glass, a rental container, and the difference between being held and being held well.
inside myself
rest is allowed and i can move like fog. learning to like the small fires that stay.
protection
they’ve always been trying
internal audit
catching myself diluting anger - softening language, second-guessing, and choosing not to.
the night i got told to run at a revival barn
summer 2018, felt “sent,” drove past the river to a saturday-night revival service, & got yelled at by a visiting prophet with an eye patch.
underground church
a youth-group “game” designed to teach loyalty through fear. not play. it was training.
adoptee remembrance day (2022)
a short note for adoptee remembrance day 2022, with a content note and resources.